I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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