Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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