Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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