I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
