hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize