piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
