just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
