How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
