Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
