The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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