They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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