i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
