I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
