I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
