Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
