This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
