I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
