Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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