i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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