Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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