Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
