I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
