There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
