her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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