I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
