So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
