Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
