apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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