David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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