Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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