I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
