I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize