dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
