friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
