Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
