***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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