Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
