Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
