Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
