Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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