i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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