Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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