I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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