my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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