One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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