I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
