She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
