billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Pooping to opera.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
