She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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