I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
