Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
