go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
