I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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