Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
