Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
