hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
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I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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