you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My cat gives me a boner
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
