my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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